Children here and in Heaven
My husband and I have two children to raise. They fill our hearts with joy and our home with chaos. But Mother’s Day is a little stinky for me, a baby-less Mother’s Day.
We were married less than a year when we lost our first baby. That following Mother’s Day was almost as hard as the actual miscarriage. All the moms were acknowledged at church—and I wasn’t in that group.
We lost another baby to miscarriage six months later. A few years after that, we had two healthy children without one problem with either pregnancy. (Delivery was a different story involving huge babies. Raise your hand if you delivered any babies naturally over 9 lbs!) Then we lost one more to miscarriage.
The biggest blow
Our biggest blow came about 4 1/2 years ago when we had a hard pregnancy, and finally, a devastating, full-term stillbirth with our last son. Only if you have experienced it can you understand the agony of leaving the maternity ward without your baby.
Our children ask about the brothers/sisters they never got to see. We think about them. I have a mother’s ring with a stone for each of our six children. We have other little reminders around our house of the children who should have been here.
Whether or not I have all my children with me, I’m a mother to six, not just the two we were given to raise.
Time has softened the pain, but hasn’t filled the blank spaces in our family where the rest of our children should be. Nothing ever will replace them.
If you’re going through a baby-less Mother’s Day, know that you are not alone. Take some time to cry and pray. Then reach out to someone else who may be hurting through their own baby-less Mother’s Day.
Are you struggling with miscarriage or infant loss? Find national organizations and resources here.